You're Cute, For A Big Girl

The picture above is me on vacation in Chicago this past summer. Maybe I'm a little biased (okay, a lot biased) but I always think I'm a sexy jamocha chocolate drop. However, I cannot count on all of my fingers and toes the times that I have heard the idioacy that is the combination "You're cute for a big girl." Nothing has the power to send me flying off the handle than those nonsensical words. Recently, someone told me "when I saw you, I thought you were cute. I have a thing for big girls." What popped into my head after the idea that I could probably take him out with no one even noticing my presence was, 'what does that mean?' Maybe it's just my naive, everyone is special and valuable way of thinking, but if you're cute, you're cute. THAT'S IT! Big, small, short, tall: cute is cute, right?? Apparently not. What I can't quite wrap my head around is when people got so caught up on the physical. I mean, I know its necessary to be attractive to your significant other, but is that all that counts? This topic has always caused me so much confusion and descension, so I had to call in some male perspective on the subject. I asked a male friend of mine what is it with men and this "cute for a big girl lunacy?? The answer I received honestly shocked me a little. He said "men are being exposed to what is sexy. Skinny is what the media says is sexy. So being bigger (notice he didn't say big, but BIGGER, meaning not the "norm") is not popular. Just like when people tell you "you have long hair for a black girl." No you didn't read it wrong. Check it again. I'll wait.....you saw it right?? Can we all just give him props right now for that deep comparision? I truly never even connected the two! Me being the hair fanatic that I am, that really hit home for me. So it isn't so much the size of the woman, but moreso what the media says the norm should be. Men tend to go after the more "model" type of person, but at the end of the day they always end up going back to the thicker girl for multiple reasons: they find that the "model type/video chick" isn't what she seemed to be at first, doesnt know how to properly keep a home, is used to having her way with men, etc. and it just doesn't work out. Its like when you are trying to buy a car: a you going to purchase the car because it's what is advertised and you see it everywhere? Or are you going to check the car out? What's the mileage? How does it run? Is it dependable and reliable? Not saying that the thinner woman cannot be all of these things, but the point I'm trying to make is when you are looking for a soul mate you have to look beyond what is on the outside. It is the total package that makes a person lovable and who they are. When it comes to women, men bring a woman's name up that they are seeing, and if they don't get the reaction they are looking for, then its on to the next. From the conversation, I learned that everything is based on their friends' opinions and the media until they reached a certain level of maturity. So these men who find it necessary to point out your size when they are trying to approach you are not even at the level you as a woman need for him to be, so you already know what to do. Keep it moving and eventually a man will come who will accept you, flaws and all, show you off, and love you for all of you! -NaturallyNikki