What Makes A Person A Good Catch??

Owning a home. No children. Religious. Good job. College Educated. What makes a person a good catch? I was having a conversation with a friend about my dating life (or present lack of it) and he asked me "what do you bring to the table?" I automatically started rambling off my attributes, as I have so many times. "I live alone, have no kids, go to church, have a good job, I'm in school...." and before I could finish, he said "wait. All you're saying is what you have. All that says is that you can take care of yourself. But what are you bringing to the table??" So I stopped and thought: what attributes do I have that make me a catch?? Then I started again. "I'm funny, I'm smart, caring, I like to try new things, I'm open minded (sometimes), and I know how to treat people. I deserve a good man", and waited for his response. He said "you're right, you do." I kinda just sat there thinking. What DOES make a person a good catch?? Is it material things that matter? Or is it a combination of the things they have acquired, and their personal attributes? Personally, I believe it is a combination of the two. You cannot have one without the other. The material things you have been able to procure on your own speak for you at a first meeting. Not because of how they look or how expensive they are, but because it shows that you can take care of yourself, and that you are a provider. What person, male or female, doesn't want that in a potential life mate?? I believe that a persons' personal attributes are more important than anything, but sadly the external is what catches the eye first, especially for men. But with this view, a different problem comes into play, and this is the main point of this post. If a person is average, or in some cases, below average physically, how do you know what they are bringing to the table, if they aren't even on your radar? For instance, an average woman who dresses nicely, but not expensively and carries herself well but isn't exactly "cool" will most likely not get the attention she feels she deserves. But IF someone took the time to get to know her they might find that she is ambitious, smart, hard working, funny, sweet, etc. This goes back to the old adage I'm sure we have all heard from our parents at one time or another: don't judge a book by its' cover. It is my opinion that we as human beings are way too caught in the external and physical attributes a person has. In one of my communications course, we are learning about perceptions, and one concept relates directly to the topic at hand. It is called Interaction Appearance Theory. This theory helps to explain how people's feelings towards someone's physical appearance changes the more they interact with someone. The theory suggests that as we get to know people through positive situations and interactions, we find them more socially attractive, which leads to a greater physical attraction. Have you ever dated someone who at first wasn't very attractive in your eyes, and once you got to know them and found out something about them (they were funny, you share common interests) you found yourself liking them a little more, and as time went on, you found out they were your type? Sometimes the best relationships are founded on this occurence. To sum up my thoughts, we should ALL make it a practice to look deeper than what a person has to offer physically. We may all be pleasantly suprised. That person you usually wouldn't give the time of day to is deserving of another look. You never know what is lying beneath the surface. -NaturallyNikki