Alright ladies (and gentlemen, if you're reading) I heard that. It was a universal sigh from everyone who is tired of the topic, or tired of all the good ones being "stolen" away by that chick who sware she so fly, or that dude who has no rhythm. I KNOW, but just read! Why is interracial dating such a hot button these days? In my opinion, if you are color blind and see a person for their beauty, their attributes, mind, and all their good points, then kudos to you. Love is not limited to a color. I know we've all heard (or at least I have) "if she/he can't use your comb, don't bring him/her home!" While my grandparents always said this jokingly, they instilled in me that if the person made me happy and treated me how I'm accustomed to being treat, he could be yellow, pink, maroon, lime green with a streak of bright orange in his hair, and they wouldn't care, and I support that completely. However, this is more than once side to the race issue. While I do support interracial dating, the one thing I CANNOT stand is once someone begins to date outside of their own race, they start to down that race. For example, when a black man dates outside of his race, some (NOWHERE NEAR ALL) will say "ugh black women just so loud. They ghetto they always so angry and tough. I can't stand em!" Or black women will date outside their race and all of the sudden its "yeah, he treats me SOOOO much better than black men do! Black men always lying, playing games, and cheating. They don't wanna work. I can do bad all by myself!" Take it from a sista who has been played out, hurt, broken and everything else in my dating life, I have been through the "I hate black men" phase. But once I got over the initial pain, I was already to go back into the dating game again, with a black man.k It's a preference, but if I were to see someone of a different race I was interested in, I would also give him a chance. People, these stereotypes are not just designated to a certain race, but more so a certain type of person, and if you are constantly attracting that person over and over, its time to take a good hard look in the mirror and ask yourself (write this down) *ahem* 'WHAT AM I DOING TO KEEP ATTRACTING THIS PERSON??' I don't believe that the person you attract is the same person you are, but I do believe that you attract what you have already engrained in your mind that you will settle for. As women, we tend to wear our emotions on our sleeve and all over our face, and not only that, but we radiate those feelings so strongly that Ray Charles can see what we got goin' on! Men know when you are lonely, desperate, sad, and if you show this, they WILL jump on the opportunity to hurt you. Once again, not all men, but some. So it has nothing to do with the color of their skin, but more so their morals, and their respect for others. This is getting a little off topic, but you know what I mean. All of this to say open your mind! If you do, you could be pleasantly surprised. And if not, you will at least have an interesting story, and a memory. In days like this, we as a people need to stick together and open ourselves to love in a world that is so filled with hate. Ladies (and gentlemen), I know we love us some brothas and sistas, and there is nothing quite like that Gina and Martin, Cliff and Clair Huxtable, Michael and Jay Kyle type of love, but the bottom line is love is love. And its still beautiful. -NaturallyNikki
I am not gonna lie if anyone knows my preference its you. My personal reason is because of the way the girls treated growing up. Now that I am older some people say I look better but I am having some success from the things that ive done if a woman got to know me there is no way that she would not want to be with me. Not being cocky but its the way it is I am not some stereotype I am someone who as some kind of worth. Okay I think im straying way from topic. But when I was growing up my gear wasnt up as they said I wasnt a thug I didnt hang with all the cool people and I wasnt a stereotype. This is what most of the black girls around me were looking for, and I had no chance. So eventually you get tired of getting played and being made fun of and you either give up or move on to something else. Yes there are women of other ethnicities that do the same thing as what I described but from my personal experience there are more of them that actually depend on how you treat them and how you connect with them as opposed to just how you look. With that being said there are tons of black women out there who are in the same boat they are with someone because of all of those other things and not so much how they look and those are the ones you hear dudes hating on in the mall. "yo how did he pull that" my answer would be probably because hes not you. Its just like when a woman gets bitter against guys or a certain type of guy. Some men are the same way. So the scale tips both ways I mean there are people who just dont give it a shot with people of the same ethnicity and there are people who just gave up on it or only go by the stereotypes. Stereotypes are the way people carry themselves now a days and it might seem like im straying off subject but the next time you go out and see a black guy with a white girl look around and see how many black girls are actually stereotypical with their look and behavior. There are white and spanish and however many other ethnicities out there doing it as well but who lives it the most?
ReplyDelete@ darnell i hear you, but I hope you have let go of what you went through in your past. One thing I can tell you from experience is that when we were younger, people didnt realize the worth of a good man/woman. They were all about having fun. But now that we are older those same people who played (us) out are the same ones trying to get back, because now they know a good man/woman is a rarity to come by. And regardless of how you were treated, you need to know that you are a great man, smart, ambitious, attractive and you have a lot going for yourself. So screw those people don't let that hold you back. :)It's not about the outside, its the inside that matters. At least thats how I feel. Some people learn slower than others, but I bet they know now!
ReplyDeleteInterracial dating has been a very touchy 'issue' and also one of the main topics for discussion (esp by outsiders who don't take the time to really know me) my whole life. Growing up I never saw race as an 'issue' I was attracted to, what I was attached to. First crush ever, Caucasian, first 'going out boyfriend' in the 7th grade, African-American, crushes after that were a lovely mix of Caucasian, Egyptian, Spanish and African American. I can not being to tell you the ridicule I got for going after the guys I was attracted to, simple because they were not always Caucasian. But I still did what I wanted at the end of the day, no matter what. And not only was I always getting teased from other guys, but I as I got a little older and hit high school the girls started noticing me and my choice of relationships as well. And let me tell you, there were a few who definitely did not like it. The fact that I am Caucasian, made them think they had all the more 'ammo' to criticize me for the choices I was making. I've gotten the looks, I've heard I'm trying to be something I'm not, I've been made to feel the outsider, I've been embarrassed in front of the guy I was dating's family, I've been stereotyped as 'that white girl who only dates black guys. . . ' All the while only defending myself if the opportunity arose for me to do so, other wise I kept doing what made me happy. I would get so frustrated and upset because I did not understand why people had such a negative view on what made other people happy. The whole time 'outsiders' not realizing I was attracted to guys for their personalities mostly, not what color/race they were.
DeleteI am 25 now and I have dated, talked to (got to know) races from Spanish, to African-American, to Caucasian, and to mixed races. And I would not have had it any other way. When people let go of the stereotypes, and the typical mind sets of how THEY think society should be and really, I mean REALLY get to know someone for who they are no matter what the race-- then I believe we are truly making progress. Don't get me wrong though, I will be VERY honest with you, going through some VERY hard times with other races I have had some of my own negative thoughts about men, thinking at one point just because a couple bad relationships with men that their particular races would always be the same, in every relationship I got in. . they would always treat 'a white woman wrong' . . or 'Never respect me, for me'. . 'Never see me for who I really am.' Not until you grow up a bit and let go of the horrible situations, I believe you can really begin to see clearly what those situations really all about; that it simply-for how hard you may have tried- just wasn't for you. And that is more than okay.
Side Note: Still to this day I hear comments. Especially now that I am more public then ever with my first true and really good long-term-relationship. 'You don't date black guys anymore?' 'Whats up with that!' or 'Who is that, that your dating?' - I get this from all races still, and as much as I think it truly is no one's business or concern what I do. . I tend to laugh to myself a little bit more then I would have when I was younger because all I know is that I am the happiest I have ever been in my life with a MAN, and it doesn't matter what his race is, he treats me like a RESPECTABLE WOMAN everyday of my life, that is what matters.
*PEOPLE NEED TO ALWAYS CONTINUE TO DO WHAT MAKES THEM HAPPY. FINDING SOMEONE YOU LOVE, NO MATTER WHAT THE RACE, WILL ALWAYS BE A TOPIC FOR DISCUSSION--THERE WILL ALWAYS BE SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO IS SO BITTER WITHIN THEMSELVES, THEY CAN'T SIMPLY BE HAPPY FOR THOSE WHO ARE THAT COMFORTABLE WITH THEMSELVES TO PLEASE THEMSELVES.* -SM
-SM xoox