Is Natural Hair vs. Relaxed Hair the New Light Skinned vs. Dark Skinned In the Black Community?

I'm sure everyone has seen School Daze. If not, stop right here, pop yourself on the hand for not seeing such a great, classic movie, and go watch it!! Moving on, there was a scene in the movie called "The Wannabees vs. The Jigga-Boos". The "Jigga-Boos" were the dark skinned females with natural hair, and the Wannabees were the light skinned girls with relaxers. In this scene, it was a continual back and forth argument tearing each other down for their differences. Today, does this still go in in reality? Sad to say, yes it does. In my opinion, it has increased recently with the natural hair "movement". I use movement loosely, because I personally believe it isn't a temporary fad, but a lifestyle change that isn't going to end with the recent influx of females making the choice to go natural. I've been natural for almost 21 months now, and can't count how many times I have heard negative comments about my hair, from an ex boyfriend when I first BC'ed, up until my hair got some length and I started receiving these comments from friends and co workers. However, it wasn't until recently someone said to me that they feel natural haired females think they are "better" than females who still choose to perm their hair. And no, not just some of us, but ALL of us. This revelation is news to me, because I have never once looked down on any female for her personal decision as to how she choose to wear her hair, and I expect the same respect in return. But this topic is deeper than hair. It's only scratching the surface of the true issue: why do we as black people feel the need to bring each other down? There are so many other rivalries happening between us: East Coast vs. West Coast, Caribbean vs. African, Light Skin vs. Dark Skin....which brings me to the meaning of this blog: is this natural hair/relaxed hair rivalry the new light skin vs. dark skin in the black community? Obviously I couldn't answer the question on my own, so I recruited the help of a few friends and family members to give me their input. Coincidentally, they all turned out to be males. Before I go into the discussions, I need to give a special thanks to Eric, Stephen, JB, and Sterling. Alright, lets do it.
Since Eric was the first person to volunteer, let's start with him. I have to say, this was my favorite person so far to question, because he was questioning me back with some good questions! I asked him did he have any experiences in his life he felt were directly connected to him being a brown skinned man. The answer really surprised me. He says he noticed that he got popped on his hand as a child when he did something wrong, whereas his darker family members got an actual beating. I can't say I have personally been spared a punishment because of my complexion, but my sister and I aren't really that far apart complexion wise. I was just the good child (hee hee!) The other things he has noticed in his life is that in New York, it's harder to catch a cab if you are dark skinned. Racial profiling at its' finest. Why is it that people deem light skin as pretty and safe? Black in Merriam Webster's dictionary is defined as "the absence of light, dirty, soiled, thorougly sinister or evil, indicative of condemnation or discredit". With a definition like that, how can anyone view black as positivity?? Add to this definition the fact that racism is alive and well within our OWN community, and it's evident as to why we don't get the respect we deserve among other races. If racism is something we want to rid ourselves of, it has to start amongst ourselves. When I questioned him about the topic of natural hair, and how he viewed it he informed me that his sister is natural. His opinion on natural women is that they seem more confident than women who relax their hair and/or wear weaves. This comment is in no way bringing down females who relax their hair. I relaxed my hair faithfully every 6 weeks for at least 13 years myself. To elaborate on this, I called in my friend Sterling, Mr. Tell It Like It Is HIMSELF! He doesn't sugar coat his thoughts, so if you're sensitive, stop reading now. BUT, you will be missing out on the most eye opening part of the blog post. I asked him how did he feel about the natural hair/relaxed hair animosity, and he replied "some women with permed hair are highly insecure!" I can contest to this. I had my issues when I had long shoulder length straight hair, but when I cut it, I didn't have anything to hide behind anymore! I had to face myself and everything I didn't like about myself head on from that point, and I learned to love it. Not saying this is the case for everyone, but it was a huge life changer for me. He also stated "the loudest one in the room is the weakest one in the room." That speaks volumes! Did you catch it?? Read it again. The person who always has something negative to say (relaxed or natural) is the one who secretly wishes they had the confidence the other had. I know that means a lot to us, ladies. Not only referring to natural or permed hair, but females in general. We are known for bringing each other down with rude comments, when really we wish we had what the next person does. Being as though most people relate perms more to  light skinned females, & natural hair to brown skinned females, it's technically the same aspect with different perspectives! DEEP!! Took me a while to understand that, but it is a profound thought. The light skinned/dark skinned "rivalry" goes beyond hair, straight into the job market & ideals of the so called "American Dream". I don't think that needs explanation. That Morehouse education, ladies and gentleman. (that plug was for you, Sterling).  Do you recall in the 70's everyone was natural?? In the 80's, the relaxer came into play more. Around this time, natural females were probably saying relaxed females thought they were better. MAJOR role reversal! (thanks Stephen). Last, but not least, I questioned my cousin J.B. When he attended Howard University, he noticed there was tension between natural/relaxed females, just as there was (and is) with light vs. dark. He has been out of school since 1994, but even at work it is still evident that the tension exists. He believes that natural hair can enhance a woman's style, just as a perm can, or take away from it. Therfore, no certain trend is better than the other. It is your OWN perception of yourself. I strongly believe this animosity and lines we as a race have drawn are non existent. We are the only race that are like crabs in a barrel. If we feel an individual is doing better than us, instead of using their success as a motivation to get ourselves together, we use all of our energy to bring them back down to the level WE believe they should be on. Why do we feel a person with light skin is better than a person with darker skin? Or believe because a female who is natural says its about embracing our culture thinks she is better than a female who relaxes her hair? Our own minds, along with what we have been accustomed to believe have us fighting each other for no reason. But, why do females feel the need to relax their hair? Is it to assimiliate the European standard of beauty? Why can't I wear my hair the way it was created without being judged? Why is it because I take pride in my hair, it's seen as looking down on someone who relaxes her hair? We as a race need to stop drawing these invisible lines between each other and come together and support each other! If it isn't stopped now, this debate will be one of many already adding to the dissension we have in the Black Community. -NaturallyNikki